Days of Our Lies
We now join the continuing story of Satan's Spawn, Donald J. Trump.
To quote Hillary Clinton, "Woo! Okay." Friday, October 7, 2016, was quite a day for the son of Lucifer. With the realization that Hillary Clinton is cleaning his clock in the polls, Lucifer Jr. claimed illegal immigrants are coming into the country, as we speak, for the sole purpose of voting. Nothing says confidence like claiming the election is rigged before the votes are even counted and, of course, blaming Mexico.
Then Donnie decided he hadn't said enough racist shit for one day. In a moment that would make any Klansman proud, he insisted the Central Park Five are guilty. It matters not to Donnie that DNA evidence exonerated these five men. Nor does it matter to Donnie that the actual attacker has been caught. It doesn't matter to Donnie that the actual attacker murdered other people while these five innocent men were in prison. It doesn't matter to Donnie that these five innocent men were children ranging in ages from 14 to 16 when they were arrested. Donnie insisted on the death penalty for these five children. According to Donnie, they committed the crime of being brown when a white lady was attacked. He cares so much about women and victims of sexual assault.
This brings us to the set of Days of Our Lives in the year 2005. Donald Beelzebub Trump was scheduled to do a cameo on the soap. Access Hollywood came along to film some backstage shit because synergy. Days of Our Lives, The Apprentice and Access Hollywood are all NBC shows. The Washington Post uncovered footage of Trump saying extremely gross shit about women to Billy Bush. Trump believes he is allowed to grab women in their "wherevers" whenever he wants because he's a star. According to a little something called "the law," that is the exact definition of sexual assault.
In an unprecedented move by Trump, he didn't lie and he apologized twice. Sort of. His definition of an apology goes like this:
"I'm not perfect. So, sorry or whatever. Bill Clinton is way worse than me. Make America great again. Vote for Trump."
Personally, I would rather hear his outrageous bullshit over a half-ass insincere apology. Dude was on the set of Days of Our Lives. He should have been ripe with excuses Deplorable Basket People would swallow without question. I mean, evil twin is an obvious choice right there. Amnesia is always a good fall back explanation. He hit his head on the bus causing him to talk crazy and he has no memory of the event. Satanic possession is one of my favorites. Satan's gotten a lot of buzz through this election season. John Boehner called Ted Cruz "Lucifer in the flesh." Dr. Ben Carson tried to tie Hillary Clinton to Lucifer because she read a book forty years ago. In this ongoing biography of Donald Trump, I assert that Donald Trump is the spawn of Satan. Satanic possession is a gold mine. Marlena become possessed in the Christmas of 1994. This caused the Christmas of 1994 to last until New Year's Day 1997, when Marlena's husband, John Black, suddenly remembered he'd been a priest before he lost his memory in 1986. John Black performed a successful exorcism, then remembered he'd been a secret agent before he was a priest.
And when all else fails – Stefano. Stefano is an evil genius who is always dead, but never dies. Stefano is capable of all kinds of nefarious deeds that deny science and logic. That is right up Trump's alley. Stefano implanted a brain chip in Trump. Stefano does amazing work in the reprogramming of brains. He's responsible for John Black's memory loss. Stefano's underground doctors performed plastic surgery on some poor homeless man to create an exact Trump duplicate. Perhaps Dr. Ben Carson is one of Stefano's underground doctors. That would explain the good doctor's belief that there are two Donald Trumps. Stefano kidnapped Marlena again, and Trump went undercover to try to rescue her. He had to say shitty things about women to throw Stefano off his trail.
Republican leaders who endorsed Trump are jumping ship and unfriending him on Facebook, and shit like this is the first abhorrent thing Trump has ever said. Alas, it's too little, too late. The stank of Trump can't be washed off. It will cling to them for all the days of their lives. Like sands through the hourglass, your days are numbered, assholes.
Namaste, Bitches
Comments:
guytroy2579 said:
Hey, this is your brother. I know you still don't get Roman numerals, but this is actually Appendix III. And I just have to add, while regrettably emulating the "alt-right", I think Billy Bush is a total cuck.
