In
my last post I took a brave stance against blackface. I'm sure you're all
thinking, “Wow, Donna, that was super badass of you. Taking a stand on civil
rights in the year 2019. You're truly a trail blazer.” While I do try to be a
ride or die kind of bitch, I have to admit I didn't expect any blow black on my
blackface piece. At least not from people I know. Because I make it a point not
to associate with people who are down with blackface. Imagine my surprise when
I found myself in my first ever Facebook fight with someone I completely forgot
existed.
I'm
from West Virginia. My hometown has one stop light that is completely
unnecessary. As far back as I can remember all I ever wanted was to get the
fuck out of this one light town. In 1998 I got the fuck out. This brings us to
the present. I've been writing this blog for three years. My sister has posted
every piece on her Facebook page for the past three years. Person I Forgot
Existed has never commented on any post, thus allowing me to continue forgetting
her existence. That is, until my sister posted my brave stance against
blackface. And Person I Forgot Existed lost her shit. The rest of this piece
will be dedicated to mocking Person I Forgot Existed. Because she totally
fucking asked for it.
Before
I continue, however, I would like to point out that not everyone from my
hometown is a useless piece of white trash shit. There are good, intelligent
and compassionate people who don't deserve to be lumped in with the rest of
them. For example, there is my sister, my mom, my dad, Tricia and Melanie.
There are more than five good people, but in the interest of time I'm only
giving shout outs to those I know read my blog.
During
the entire twenty years I lived in my hometown the African American population
was two. Despite only knowing two black people, who most everyone seemed to
like, racism thrived. People tossed the N-word around with reckless abandon. It
made no sense. Why such hatred for black people? They're not here. They can't
be affecting your lives at all. Racists in cities with an African American
population higher than two can at least make up dumbass excuses for their
hatred. They claim black people are responsible for drugs, crime and lower
property values. But Person I Forgot Existed can't even say that.
Here's
a tip for spotting racists: Any white person who jumps at the chance to call
black people racist is totally racist. Like this jackass I used to know got all
worked up over BET. He was all like, “Tell me how that's not segregation to
call it Black Entertainment Television.” So I told him. “I've seen white
people on BET. People of all races are welcome to watch it. Their target audience is black and that's
perfectly okay. Because the target audience of most networks is white and
you're perfectly okay with that.” And then he was all like, “But you couldn't
have a network called White Entertainment Television.” And I said, “No, but we
have a network called Country Music Television, which I think we both know is
not-so-secret code for white people.” We haven't spoken since and I'm perfectly
okay with that.
Remember
how they tried to make honky a thing in the seventies as the white equivalent
of the N-word. George Jefferson really pushed it hard, but it never landed.
Because white people haven't suffered the pain of enduring centuries of
enslavement, violence and oppression, the only people offended by the word
honky were racist.
So
this Honky I Forgot Existed went on a rambling diatribe proclaiming racism no
longer exists. For real.
She
made one small concession to the existence of racism. And I quote, “I guess if
you’re looking for it, then yes you can find it.”
My
roommate, Dee Dee On The Street, has requested I respond with her favorite
Malcolm X quote:
“We
didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us.” (Note to the reader: You
should shout that out loud when you read it, then slam your fist on a table or
other flat service in your vicinity.)
I
shall try to sum up the long-winded rant from Person I Forgot Existed. It seems
by acknowledging racism I am “sowing the seeds of discord” when I should be
calling for unity.
Because
I've read more than one book in my life, I'm aware of another call for unity.
On April 12, 1963, eight white clergy men in Birmingham, Alabama wrote an open
letter entitled, A Call For Unity. In the letter, they took issue with civil
rights demonstrations "directed and led in part by outsiders." The
term “outsider” was a thinly veiled reference to Martin Luther King, Jr. And as
we all know these white Christian leaders totally solved racism and Martin
Luther King recently celebrated his ninetieth birthday. And February is Black
History Month to honor those courageous white men.
Anyway,
Person I Forgot Existed claims racism has been eradicated because she attends a
multi-cultural church. And by simply ignoring racism it went away. I feel like
I shouldn't have to explain to a middle-aged woman that ignoring problems won't
make them go away. I've spent twenty years ignoring white trash and they came
for me with a resentful vengeance because I dared to declare my staunch
animosity for blackface.
Now
please excuse me while I write an open letter to Person I Forgot Existed.
Dear
Sanctimonious Cunt I Forgot Existed,
Bitch,
you don't score bonus Jesus points because your church isn't whites only. I'm
not sure why you think it's admirable of you to mix with the other races every
Sunday from nine to ten, but no.
I
don't know why you felt the need to jump on my sister's timeline and bore us
all with your self-proclaimed virtue. This was about the current racist scandal
in the Virginia government, which directly affects the lives of millions of
citizens. This song ain't about you, Bitch.
Although,
please indulge me while I share some lyrics from a song that is about you, I'm
Not Racist by Joyner Lucas.
“I'm
not racist, my sister's boyfriend's black
I'm not racist, my sister-in-law's baby cousin Tracy
Got a brother and his girlfriend's black”
I'm not racist, my sister-in-law's baby cousin Tracy
Got a brother and his girlfriend's black”
"The
lady doth protest too much, methinks." That's from Hamlet, which
I'm sure you've never read.
I
see from your Facebook timeline you spent the entire Obama administration
referring to him as B. HUSSEIN Obama. And calling him an amoral Muslim. And posting
memes for the sole purpose of “pissing off liberal democrats.” Your exemplary
public display of strong Christian values is truly beyond reproach. Also, memes
aren't a credible source of information. It's weird you don't that.
President
Obama didn't choose his own name. There were many people named Adolph before
Hitler rose to power. Their names say nothing of their character. Purposely
distorting someone's name in a derogatory manner says a lot about your
character, though.
Also,
President Obama is not Muslim. But it shouldn't matter if he were Muslim.
Again, I shouldn't have to explain this to a person your age. There are some
bad Muslims, but they don't define all people of the Muslim faith. If I were to
judge all Christians by the standard you've set, I would have to assume all
Christians are unconscionable cretins.
Please
indulge me while I share more lyrics from I'm Not Racist by Joyner
Lucas.
“You
hated President Obama, I know that's a fact
You couldn't wait to get him out and put a cracker back
And then you gave us Donald Trump and now it's payback for that
I'm not racist, I never lied
But I know there's a disconnect between your culture and mine”
You couldn't wait to get him out and put a cracker back
And then you gave us Donald Trump and now it's payback for that
I'm not racist, I never lied
But I know there's a disconnect between your culture and mine”
As
you have publicly denied the existence of racism, I banish you to the Land of
People I Forgot Existed. I dub thee an unperson. That is from the book Nineteen
Eighty-Four by George Orwell, which I'm sure you've never read.
Defending
blackface is inexcusable, indefensible and stupid. And posting your defense of
blackface on my sister's timeline was epically stupid. You know her. You had to
know this wouldn't end well for you.
My
sister and I recently did 23andMe DNA tests. Our results came back 100% Bitch.
You'd be wise to remember that, you Cracker-Ass Cracker.
Warm
Wishes,
Donna
Troy
Namaste,
Bitches