Gun violence is one of the saddest and most stupid problems facing our nation today. I blame the media for this problem. Song lyrics in popular music have been advocating gun violence for years. Eric Clapton shot the sheriff. (Self-defense, my ass.) Johnny Cash shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. And worst of all, Bubba shot the jukebox. (Other people might have wanted to listen to the jukebox, Bubba.) However, both gun enthusiasts and gun control advocates can breathe a collective sigh of relief. I've solved the problem.
We will create a department like the DMV that's responsible for gun ownership. This department will be called the DMV of Gun Ownership. Every American who wants to own a gun (or multiple guns, because they're just hoarders hiding behind the Second Amendment) will simply go to the DMV of Gun Ownership to obtain a license. First, all applicants must take a written test.
Sample Written Test
Once you pass the written test, you'll be required to take a vision test.
Sample Vision Test
Passing the vision test will bring you to the final test, the shooting test.
Sample Shooting Test
A "trained" employee of the DMV of Gun Ownership will take you shooting around the neighborhood. All deaths and serious injuries will result in automatic failure. Flesh wounds are acceptable.
Congratulations! You've passed the test and will receive your DMV of Gun Ownership license. Your DMV of Gun Ownership license will actually be bulletproof bracelets with little silver bullets on them. We highly recommend that you practice deflecting bullets with your wrists, because it's the only thing that will save you.
We also encourage you to consider organ donation. We foresee a great need for organ donation in the immediate future.
Every four years you will be required by law to return to the DMV of Gun Ownership to renew your license bracelets. If you wait in line for three hours without shooting anyone, your license will be automatically renewed.
Namaste, Bitches
Comments:
guytroy2579 said:
We will create a department like the DMV that's responsible for gun ownership. This department will be called the DMV of Gun Ownership. Every American who wants to own a gun (or multiple guns, because they're just hoarders hiding behind the Second Amendment) will simply go to the DMV of Gun Ownership to obtain a license. First, all applicants must take a written test.
Sample Written Test
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Once you pass the written test, you'll be required to take a vision test.
Sample Vision Test
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Passing the vision test will bring you to the final test, the shooting test.
Sample Shooting Test
A "trained" employee of the DMV of Gun Ownership will take you shooting around the neighborhood. All deaths and serious injuries will result in automatic failure. Flesh wounds are acceptable.
Congratulations! You've passed the test and will receive your DMV of Gun Ownership license. Your DMV of Gun Ownership license will actually be bulletproof bracelets with little silver bullets on them. We highly recommend that you practice deflecting bullets with your wrists, because it's the only thing that will save you.
We also encourage you to consider organ donation. We foresee a great need for organ donation in the immediate future.
Every four years you will be required by law to return to the DMV of Gun Ownership to renew your license bracelets. If you wait in line for three hours without shooting anyone, your license will be automatically renewed.
Namaste, Bitches
Comments:
guytroy2579 said:
Hey, this is your brother. Really? Clapton? I believe you mean Bob Marley. Also, Dad just wanted to tell you it's normal for the car to do that when you shift into all-wheel drive.